I frequently wonder why I've received the calling to be primary president. I know it's cause I have something to learn...well, lot's of somethings.
My biggest problem I think is that I'm a slow learner, and that I'M LAZY.
I'm a PROCRASTINATOR with a capital P.
It's not good.
A few weeks ago, I was supposed to give the spiritual thought during ward council.
{The previous day was a baptism I had been in charge of pulling together. I'll just say that the baptism nearly didn't happen because I had neglected to find out who had access to the Stake Center and I had to make a last minute call to someone to get them to come over and open the building for me so I could get in and get the font filled. It wasn't exactly convenient for this sweet lady to stop what she was doing (juicing pomegranites) and come to my rescue. Needless to say, this is all something I should have dealt with in the weeks leading up to the baptism, instead of scrambling at the last minute to find out who I needed to get a key from.}
Anyhow I overslept that Sunday morning and arrived late, so I didn't get to give my spiritual thought. Of course, I hadn't prepared for it anyway.
Because I'm a Procrastinator.
I sat in the car for a moment, "preparing" my thought before I headed over to the church.
I was thinking about this problem of mine...procrastination. So I looked it up in the topical guide.
What I found, kind of startled me.
"Procrastination, Procrastinate see also Apathy; Idleness; Slothful. "
There was also some mention made about making excuses.
Idleness? Slothful? ME?
Well, I looked up idleness too.
I looked up a scripture referenced in the Doctrine & Covenants. D&C 68:31:
31 Now, I, the Lord, am not well apleased with the inhabitants of Zion, for there are bidlers among them; and their cchildren are also growing up in dwickedness; they also eseek not earnestly the riches of eternity, but their eyes are full of fgreediness.
Um, hit a little close to home, I gotta' tell ya'. And I've got a whole pocketful of excuses. Excuses why my children are growing up in wickedness.
I have terrific kids.
They are not by any means wicked.
But, they're not the way I imagined they would be. They have their own thoughts, and I'm not sure their testimonies are as strong as they could be.
Because I haven't helped them build them up.
Because I have to work nights. I'm not home to do family scripture study, and family prayer, and family home evening. (excuses)
Beause Ashley has to get up early (4 in the morning early) to get ready for school, out the door by 5:15---it's too early to get the other kids up for family prayer and scripture study. (excuses)
Because I'm tired. (excuses)
It's because I'm lazy. It's because I'm idle. It's because I'm slothful.
Plain. and. simple.
And the Lord is not pleased.
But He loves me. And he sees fit to chastise me. And I'm SO grateful that he does.
I just hope I can live up to His expectations and overcome this shortcoming of mine.
