So, yesterday I had to pick Ashley up from school again, because she didn't feel well. Nausea.
This is the fourth time I think in as many weeks that she has missed a day of school due to these symptoms. The first two times were for sure legitimate. She was definitely sick.
The past two weeks, I think the culprit has been nerves. Regardless, I took her to the doctor yesterday to have her checked out. He had some tests run, and called us back last night and this morning, and everything has come back clear (let me just say, I love our kids' doctor, he's truly one of the best!) . The last test he was waiting on, which he called about this morning, checked for any lingering traces of infection in her body. He said everything looks great. SO relieved about all that.
BUT,
today, she's not feeling well again. Sais' she has diarrhea, and her tummy is upset.
The play is over, so it's not nerves about that.
She mentioned yesterday, after questioning, that there are a couple little girls in her classroom that are probably causing her a bit of stress. They don't come right out and blatantly harass her, but she feels like they are talking about her. You know, the old sit in the corner and whisper to each other while they're looking at you bit. She also feels that the biggest reason for they're "whatever" sort of not really there but there harassment is her weight. She's probably one of the biggest girls in the class weight wise, although she is by no means fat. Maybe a bit on the chubby side.
So, what am I to do? I can't just let her stay home from school because these girls are cowing her. I know I dealt with a few kids when I was growing up, who were less than kind.
i told her she can stay home today again, but she's cleaning her room.
I just don't know what to do to help her deal with this. And right now I'm just too irritated and frustrated, and yes, sad for her to be any good helping her cope.
13 comments:
MIkki, this is such a hard situation! Can you talk to the teacher a bit?
I had a similar situation with my daughter a few years ago--and it still crops up periodically. We had to do things like teach her relaxation techniques, rub her feet and hands, exercise, and find other ways to de-stress so she could cope.
I can always tell when she's getting stressed out because the nausea returns. My SIL is a NP, and she worked for some time in a GI clinic--and found out that young girls are especially prone to this kind of thing. Nothing is physically wrong, but their stresses represent with GI symptoms. Good luck. It's tough.
I remember kids teasing me when I was in the 3rd grade and up. The best skill I learned was to tell a few a jokes and show off some magic tricks. My preschoolers love it now-when I tell a good story:) When ya look just a tad different-kids are waiting to see if your gonna cry or make them laugh. Show your daughter how fun it is to make people smile:) Tell her to be strong-she has the power!
I'm not sure what the best plan of action would be either. Maybe a conference with the teacher to start out. She could possibly talk about being nice to others in class. That way no one is singled out for now, but at least the offenders know that all are being watched. They might think twice about being mean.
Hey Mikki,
It saddens me to hear this about your precious daugther. My daughter went through the same thing when she was young and it got so bad I had to pull her out of school and homeschool her for a couple of years-
About her stomach issues... Yes, it may be stress but once summer comes and she is out of school-IF the tummy troubles keep up you might want to try taking her off gluten (flour,wheat, rye) for a month or two and see if her tummy issues clear up (it couldn't hurt)
Take care sweetie,
Robin~♥
Oh, I don't blame you for needing to vent-- that's tough. I'm the freak-out-a-little-excessively mother who ends up embarrassing her kids because she tries to handle too much for them. But, dang, she's stressing herself sick so something has to be done. Have you told anyone at the school yet?
Thanks for the great advice and suggestions guys, I really appreciate it. I did speak with her teacher a little this morning, he asked me to investigate a bit more with her, and said we could get her in to see the counselor and perhaps that will help a bit. She's not really thrilled at the thought of seeing a counselor, but I think it probably couldn't hurt. Maybe they can at least suggest some coping mechanisms.
Robin, great suggestion on the gluten and stuff, I'll definitely keep an eye on things as our break approaches, and see if it makes any difference.
Kids can be so cruel to one another. If she could be brave enough to go up to those girls and just start talking friendly with them - maybe they don't know her very well, and that would help. She's too young to be getting ready to start her period, isn't she? I thought maybe that could be a cause for tummy problems, but stress can definitely cause it too. Good luck!
Oh so sad. That breaks my heart. I've always hated to see anyone getting picked on, or feel like they don't fit in. Even when I was still a kid, it bothered me to see it happening. All good suggestions here. And let her know how much she is loved!
That's so hard. Those are the things I just don't look forward to with my girls. Makes you want to march over the school and let those girls have it. But that wouldn't help your daughter as much as it would hurt her more.
I wish I knew what to tell you.
Good luck.
I wish I knew what to say that'd help her. I had the same problem when I was in middle school. I'd get literally sick to my stomach and have nausea everyday at the same time when I had to go to a certain class.(cause of girls). My younger sister went through it each night before bed for other issues.
Can you request a talk w/ those girls' parents? Point out how it's affecting Ashley poorly. Are her teachers the kind to understand if you tell them too? Would they care or empathize? I guess a drastic measure would be homeschooling.
I thought of Ashley as I watched this video. This ten yr. old girl messed up at her performance and did not want to go on later. She went ahead and was brave though! I was pretty impressed...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rt3wBbpOALU&feature=PlayList&p=f4sfIAyOgwc
Long time no reading your blog and it is a shame. I am sorry to hear about Ashley. I wish I had a good idea to suggest but I don't. The ironic twist is that these girls may end up obese for real once grown ups!
If she wear my daughter I would teach her to fight them either with their own weapons or with something else but she is not my daughter and you probably want her to become a good girl...tough situation.
Maybe talking to her about how you have overcome similar things could help not in applying your answer to her problem but in feeling that: a) people survive idiots. b) even if she has not found it yet there is a solution anyway that she will soon found out.
I just hope that these brats won't make her feel like she has to lose weight.
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