Well, I really need to say "Thanks!!" to everyone for their sweet comments on yesterdays post.
I've been feeling generally dissatisfied with myself this week. Not sure if it's more to do with my monthly, or what. Hopefully it passes soon though.
I've been noticing in the mornings, mostly school mornings of late, that I get a nasty little knot in my tummy. I'm not sure why. Stress I presume. But what am I stressing about? Getting the kids ready and out the door in time? Knowing I have to be getting myself ready and out the door to work soon?
I'm a very lazy person, well in my personal life anyway. Not so much at work. But at home, I usually seem to do the least amount that I need to, to get by. I think this is the real source of my dissatisfaction. If I could just get my head out of the sand (I was going to say something else there and decided against it), and address the many areas of my life that need improvement, I'd probably be much happier. What's the solution? I think it's more than just setting a goal. I've made myself plenty of resolutions over the years, but they never stick. We all know that.
I guess it's a plan. I need a plan. I'm sure I've heard that somewhere too. I need to plot out every single step involved in obtaining my goals, and just start taking them.
But what do I do about my temper? My lack of patience? What do I do during those moments when the kids are about to drive me out of my head, and I'm about to explode? How do I stop myself from reacting badly? I'm tired of reacting badly. I'm tired of having to apologize to my kids because I lost it, and acted more immature than they did.
While I'm on that subject, I'm tired of worrying about how I look. I'm tired of worrying about what other people think of me. I'm tired of just thinking about myself.
H-E_double hockey sticks, I'm just tired.
I better go to bed. ☺
PS, Really not trying to be all negative and debbie downer here, I'm just trying to vent my frustrations. I'm really, really ok. Just a little frustrated with myself. Please, don't feel like I need the "oh mikki, you're so wonderful!!" comments, what I need is the "girl, this is what you need to do!!!" comments!!! Let me have it!