Wednesday, October 29, 2008

How To Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity:
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice!
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries With that.
4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write 'For Marijuana'
6. Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.
7. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk! and see how many looks you get.
8. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
9. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.
10. Sing Along At The Opera.
11. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.
12. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.
13. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'
14. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
15. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.


the boyd family said...

oh my goodness, those were hilarious! i love the diet water.

~The Robin's Nest~ said...

I love #3 "Do you want fries with that?" Too funny!

Aimee "Roo" said...

I have always loved that one! And is it wrong that I also have wanted to try them?? :)

Shauna said...

How funny! I love these :)

Richelle said...

So funny. I like the diet water one. :)

tammy said...

Hilarious! I am so gonna order my water that way next time.

I just told my boys the last one, in a very serious face. Taylor the 12 year old was worried, and Connor the 7 year old just smiled. Guess he thinks he was safe.

Liza said...

Love the marijuana one. I'm totally doing that.

*MARY* said...

These were awesome, thanks for all the great advice.

Kristina P. said...

Hahaha! I loved these!

Sher said...

OMG! HAve you been reading my journal again? Because I do all of those things ALL the time!
Does that mean I'm insane?

Anonymous said...

those are so funny!!! i luv 'em!